How To Sleep At Work

The Medical Emergency technique in action

Don't be a Skro, we've all been there... You're really tired and maybe you don't want to drink coffee because caffein isn't good for you.  You think to yourself, "I wish I wasn't at work so I could take a nap." If you're a scumbag Skro who decides you are going to take a nap on someone else's dime, here are some helpful tips to keep you from getting fired if you get caught.

The Medical Emergency | I'm proud of myself for coming up with this jewel... You can sleep anywhere any time.  All you have to do is sleep in a funy position and if the boss happens by, just ask them how long you were out.  In fact, you might just get the rest of the day off or a free ride in a fast flashing manbulance.

The Prayer | Now, I can't sleep sitting up straight, but I've sure as hell worked with people who could, so I know you're out there. This one's very simple... when they shake you or ask you if you're sleeping, just raise your head and softly say, "amen."

The Migraine | This one is pretty fool proof -- unless you snore I guess.  And I know what you're thinking,

Google's Nap Room

"Snoring would be a dead give away that you're not praying too," and well, that's a good point.  For this one, you put your face in your hands and rub your temples when you are woken.  If anyone has a problem with your short little nap, just tell them you were closing your eyes because you've got a migrain.

Okay, I feel like a scum bag skro for coming up with this junk.  I don't really advise you use these tactics... your boss isn't stupid and you'll be out of a job pretty quickly if you get busted.  You're better off being ethical about your napping... go to your car during lunch and set an alarm.  It's the only way to legitimately take a nap at work.

If only I could convince my employer to be more like Google...